Judgmental Opinion and Advice, Streetsmart Style
By: Angel Apurillo
"I am mistaken for a flirt when I'm friendly.I'm mistaken for being mean when I'm honest. I'm mistaken for sad when I want to be alone. I'm mistaken for shy when I'm quiet. Quit assuming and get to know me. Do not attempt to define me..."- Anonymous
From my observation of human beings, we are judgmental.
We easily judge a person or situation without knowing the whole story. We can easily be entangled who is the bad guy and who is the good one. We are easily lured to reckon because the media said so or our friends shares us their opinion.
When a picture is shared in social media like Facebook or Twitter, you easily judge what's going on and tell yourself what's the meaning of the picture even though you are not involved.
Thoughts are running through our minds whenever we encounter something that catches our attention. And thus gives us judgment prematurely.
"My husband is too close to this girl in this picture, he might be having an affair with her."
"A friend (male) is texting my girlfriend, maybe they are closer more than I thought?"
"She's not talking to me, maybe she hates me."
"She's such a bitch, she slept with my BFF"s boyfriend."
So to further not to engage myself in the whole judgment thing and help ourselves in not doing so, let's get started what are the cause of it.
Two Sides Of The Story
There is always two sides of the story. But in my part, sometimes its three. It depends if there is a third person involved. Most of the time the third person is the bad guy.
Another point is whenever a story is being told, its either less or more. So we really don't know what really happened. Aside from that, we are not there all the time with them to know everything about them. Save me with your lame opinion telling me how well you know them.
To resolve this, I pretend to be a total stranger to them.
If I am talking to the second person about a third person, I'll be adjusting my understanding my receptiveness. Of course, I don't know the story of the third person we are talking about.
When hearing them out, I make believe that I don't know them both. I'm a stranger to them. That way I'll not be biased with my advises to the second person. I'm just there to hear their rants.
Hey, we are not all psychologists and even psychologists are human beings. Psychologists can be wrong with what's going on with our minds and our feelings. So don't pretend to be one. I don't.
Empathy And Listening
Putting yourself in the situation would definitely help you understand the person/situation. Sometimes you need to read and think ahead why the situation happened.
Sometimes, you also need to remind yourself that this person just needs someone to talk to. Or seeking attention. Just let them and listen. You'll know the person right before you know it, you might just find yourself a good friend.
Having an open mind is also helpful because you'll know for yourself that you're mind and understanding is mature enough. You are understanding people already and know what's the next move.
As my parting statement, don't judge easily. Try to understand the situation and be a stranger. This would definitely help you understand them and tell yourself you are mature.
So go ahead, try understanding everything in this world and you'll be surprised.
How do you deal with judgmental people? Share it and leave your comments below.
Kapish!