"Nobody gets any guarantees."- Hannah Arendt
There is a saying that "Promises are made to be broken". And with that, I totally agree.
But I learned it the hard way. I thought I can keep my promises and fulfill it. But in the long run, I tend to break it. There are many things that I already promised something to other people and yet I still break it.
And that hurts people. Even the people that understands and cares for you. I already did numerous promises to my wife, children, relatives, friends and others that needs my commitment to change.
Even myself. My inner being should have been mad at me because I don't fulfill my promises. Promises of changing for the good and other habits that need to stop.
So how do I stop hurting myself and the other people around me from promises? Here are my solutions:
1. Don't make any promises
I stopped doing promises already. I don't want to be entangled from a commitment that I'm not sure of. So as often as possible I don't make promises.
2. Make promises as if your life depends on it.
When somebody asks me to make a promise, I'll make sure that I'll be true to my word. Like swearing and as if my life depends on that promise. It should be doable and attainable for me to commit on it.
3. Do it.
It will be a pain at the beginning but I'm sure all things will be good. A promise is like a commitment so we need to make sure that we align ourselves with that promise.
4. Start with yourself.
If I have something to promise, I'll start with myself. That way, if I break the promise, myself is the only one to blame. There are no others that will be hurt except myself.
In the end, promises are still made to be broken. But its up to us if we will break it or not depending on the needs. We're only human and we are never unbreakable.
As much as possible, don't promise.